Australia’s own sub-prime scenario unfolded with alarming speed and high drama in Melbourne today.
In a matter of minutes, a property portfolio worth millions turned into worthless paper.
Another empire built on leveraged deals and misplaced hope crumbled in a fraction of the time it took to be built.
Homes bought on an impulse for more than they were worth were handed back to the bank for a song.
Dreams were dashed, futures that once flashed brightly crashed spectacularly.
Remarkably, it all happened in an atmosphere of good humour and “better luck next time” resignation.
Which is no more than you might expect at the Australian Monopoly Championships.
The board game that is overwhelmingly the most popular there has ever been drew together its aficionados and fanatics for a shoot-out on Wednesday on the 88th floor of Australia’s tallest building.
A South Australian lawyer, a Perth radio producer, a courier from Sydney and a researcher from Parramatta who can’t stand the game were among the various state champions who came to challenge Victoria’s Leon Hechtman for
the title.
All had their own strategies and theories.
“Don’t worry about Mayfair and Park Lane,” Mr Hechtman said.
“It’s the orange properties you want – Bow St and the ones next to it.
“They’re the ones that the good players try and get their hands on.”
Tim Hawes, from Wentworthville in Sydney’s west, puts his faith in research.
“I like to know about my opponents,” Mr Hawes said.
“I know their favourite colour, their favourite playing piece.
“I know where they work. I like to sit back and use it to my advantage.”
He was the first player to go bankrupt.
Queensland champion Anthony Jucha, a lawyer in Adelaide, confines his Monopoly playing to Christmas with the family and to the four-yearly championships.
Mr Jucha relies a lot on dominating the table.
He is also afraid of heights, which may have been against him as he sat next to a floor-to-ceiling window 300 metres above the street.
He went broke in the qualifying round.
If there was a prize for nonchalance it would have gone to NSW champ Chris Harrison.
“I hadn’t played in 15 years before the New South Wales championship,” Harrison said.
“I’ll probably make some rookie mistakes, but I won’t be taking myself as seriously as some of them.”
Seriously enough though to win his qualifying round and a place in the four-player final.
Joining Mr Harrison in the championship play-off were the grandly-named Alexander Xan Jenner-O’Shea from Adelaide, Kelly Altair from Melbourne and defending champion Mr Hechtman.
Mr Jenner-O’Shea plucked Park Lane early, but not much else.
Before long he had no money, no income and worthless assets.
Failing to heed the lessons of real life, Ms Altair snapped up properties with indecent haste, acquiring nine in six minutes.
She threw up houses on them, hotels followed and the world was a wonderful place – until the money ran out.
Mr Harrison placed his trust, foolishly, in railways.
In the end it was Mr Hechtman the defending champion and his faith in the orange who got the lot – and a trip to Las Vegas for the world championships.
(The Age – 5 March 2009)