It seems that, despite having endless lives worth of time to play with, Indians experience an overwhelming and irrational sense of panic when faced with a ‘queue’. It is not sufficient to merely wait one’s turn. Rather, one should use every effort, including (if not especially) physical force, to get ahead in the ‘queue’ (or clumpish mass of flesh that ‘queues’ tend to deteriorate into).
This is where being six foot tall with face piercings and a bison arse comes in handy. A long history of earning positions in basketball teams through rebounding and boxing out ability alone is also most helpful.
My preferred ‘queueing’ technique is to envelope anyone ahead of me with my arms (anvils by subcontinental standards) and try to look progressively meaner as I shuffle closer to the holy grail of being served. Of course, one must also violently fend off the scrawly arms of the locals attempting to shove their money ahead of you (with innocent looks as if they did not notice your big white arse ahead of them in the ‘queue’). A few good shoves and nasty growls usually sends them off sheepishly to fight amongst themselves for position.
I find that by using this method a ‘queue’ can usually be successfully negotiated in two short hours – a mere drop in the ocean of a thousand lifetimes.