Blue & Blue Magazine

1 October 2013 | Published in Archive of Everything, Blog, Media, News | 5 Comments

The Old Collegian’s magazine of my high school, Sacred Heart College, asked me to write an article about myself, so I submitted the following. They refused to publish it (or even an edited version of it).  I’m still trying to figure out why.

Anthony studied at SHC from 1989 to 1991. He graduated as the Dux of the College, Captain of the Debating Team and the reigning South Australian Monopoly Champion.

Selling out his Catholic roots, Anthony was awarded the C.A.S. Hawker Scholarship (known as ‘Australia’s Rhodes’) to live at the Anglican Residential College, St Marks, while studying at Adelaide University. He studied Economics and Law, and has been selling out ever since.

He started work as a lawyer at Finlaysons, representing banks, Y2K pundits and Today Tonight. Finding the inspiration overwhelming, Anthony turned to stand up comedy.

In 1999, Anthony was the South Australian runner up in Triple J’s Stand Up Comedy competition, Raw Comedy. It was the high point in a stand up career that saw Anthony go on to write, produce and perform his own comedy shows at the Adelaide Fringe in 2004, 2006 and 2008. The shows were unloved by audiences, critics, and his mother alike.

Deciding it might be better if he didn’t read out so much of what he wrote, Anthony started writing feature articles for Adelaide’s dB Magazine. In 2010, he self-published a book ‘2002: A World Cup Odyssey – or how I learned to stop worrying and love the game’. The book is a collection of comic blogs written by Anthony during his travels around Europe over the month of the 2002 World Cup. Print run, after print run, of the book has been sold, bought by Anthony, and given away to his friends.

Anthony now lives and works in Sydney. He is a commercial lawyer and the principal of his own firm ‘Jucha Legal’. He is once again a reigning state Monopoly Champion.

Anthony writes a monthly comedy column for the Law Society Journal called ‘Lexcursions’ and is a regular speaker at legal industry events – never quite having let go of stand up.

Living in sin with his de facto partner, Sally Read, Anthony is the father of a 2 year old boy, Kasper, and of twin baby girls, Genevieve and Tallulah.

Yes, he has three under three, and, this time, the joke is definitely on Anthony.

They did however publish this delightful photograph of me and my ‘bastard’ children, which was nice.

 

5 Comments

  1. Garry Taylor wrote on October 18, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Anthony, you can’t seriously wonder why the Catholic Church frowned on your summary, with entries like these:
    “Selling out his Catholic roots, Anthony was awarded the C.A.S. Hawker Scholarship…to live at the Anglican Residential College, St Marks…and has been selling out ever since”, and:”Living in sin with his de facto partner, Sally Read, Anthony is the father of a 2 year old boy, Kasper, and of twin baby girls, Genevieve and Tallulah.”
    This does not exactly paint you as a pillar of Catholic doctrine – and, in case you haven’t heard of a thing called “The Royal Commission into Child Sexual Abuse in Religious Institutions”, in which the Catholic Church is up to its neck in shit, they probably don’t think they want you as the pin-up boy in the media for Catholic vales.
    Do you think….??!


  2. Evelyn Lundstrom wrote on October 18, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    Hi Anthony
    I love your story, it’s real, just like YOU. Don’t ask me why the College didn’t print your story – because I wouldn’t know. But having been bought up in a very religious home and sent to a church boarding school, I’m never surprised by the decisions ‘they’ make. Interesting that you couldn’t find out why – which reinforces my perception of those who run these institutions – high minded, pious, holier than thou bible bashing S O B’s. So I’m no help at all. I was caned at these schools for asking questions that pushed back on the teachings as interpreted by the brain-washed pastors, and as soon as I was able to – I left the church (but not all the teachings) and lived my life without all the trappings of guilt, and the ‘born in sin’ thing, and the fire and brimstone hellfire crap that was rammed through my head every church day. Life’s been a ball ever since hahaha. I wouldn’t give another second’s through about this.
    Best wishes always
    Evelyn


  3. Matt Tonkin wrote on October 19, 2013 at 6:09 am

    I bet the staff who remembered you, and the editing team of the magazine were either jaw dropping aghast with religious spirits hating your freedom and expression OR laughing with wistful glee!!
    If you were hoping to inspire possible enrollments to SHC as a writer of the Old Collegians Magazine, would you consider running with a testimony that celebrates another religious order from the one you believe?, that regards matters of Catholic importance with sarcastic humour?
    Consider: Would you write a review of Jucha Legal with references toward your time at Finlaysons as being worthwhile time spent and positive or would you berate them and be derogatory?
    I think the article is very funny, cool humour and full of character! Monopoly Champion!??
    I would guess that the SHC magazine wants articles that tell of the fortunes and successes ex students have experienced since their school days, with attribution of their grand and happy lives to be directed or associated with SHC.
    Instead of “Selling out your CAtholic roots” you may have “Finding discipline and value in religious institutionalized education systems, Anthony studious time at SHC earned him the CAS Hawker Scholarship.”
    🙂 congrats on the twins…. enjoy, God bless.


  4. Mick Tapsell wrote on October 19, 2013 at 7:04 am

    I really enjoyed the humour in the article, especially the self-deprecating bits – like being a Monopoly Champion! Here is my take on why the article was not published. You have completely ignored your readership group. The Old Collegians won’t hear of any criticism – real or implied – of the Old Place. They are a peculiar breed, these Old Boys of private schools. I’m talking about the ones who never leave the school. The ones who go back to school football games and get drunk. The ones who make sizable donations. The ones who are always at reunions. They do some good things too, but you cannot attack their Traditions. Are you writing for your audience or writing for yourself?


  5. Christopher Keane wrote on October 30, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Excellent work Anthony. However, the greatest joke associated with Sacred Heart College must surely be the hapless bloke who was running the place when I was there (1987 – 1989)
    Brother Stephen Bugg… gone, but not forgotten!


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